Thursday, February 19, 2015

30 Days of Frankenstein

So I realized all at once, after talking about my 30th day of I, Frankenstein, that I had tapped the movie for as much as I could. 30 days felt right. 30 days of one movie felt right. Then I move onto a new movie, leaving my poor Creature alone.

Watching one movie everyday was oddly comforting. It was a stable figure in my life. No matter what I knew that I would have my Aaron Eckhart and Miranda Otto to greet me before I went to bed. It also forced me to think creatively and really focus on one thing which is something I don't always do--I usually watch something once and even then I tend to get distracted. This time I really lived in the movie and had to really think about it in order to have something to talk about every morning.

Now for my top ten insights about I Frankenstein.

1. They shouldn't have killed Dr. Frankenstein at the beginning. 

In the book/play (the play's all I've got...sorry I haven't read the book) it ends with the doctor and the creature in an awful struggle to the death. And the movie just zips past that. I would have loved a lot more of that revenge/anger. It would have added to the character of the Creature.

2. The Creature should have been captured by the demons at the beginning.
He's not a nice guy. He kills Elizabeth Frankenstein. In the play he killed a kid. He is generally the worst. Sure he's probably just a victim of his awful "childhood" but he's not a heavenly nothing. The demons should have taken him and seduced him by saying that he'd give him demon friends and he'd be a part of a monster family. They'd woo him with a community and "love" and he'd join them. They'd trick him and figure out whatever science they needed and then he'd figure out that they're just using him. Then he would join with the gargoyles to fight against the demons but only after he's made the conscience decision to fight against the demons for the sake of his new friends and humanity. Then the character wouldn't be totally tied up by gargoyles all the time.
3. Ophir & Keziah should have gotten more screentime/not been killed off so fast/get their own damn gargoyle movie
The only good characters are O&K. They are darling. Ophir is super nice and empathetic of the Creature. Keziah also seems very sweet. I say seems because they do nothing but constantly tie up Aaron Eckhart or say a bunch of exposition. But they are bad ass and adorable. And they have some kind of love story that is literally not mention at all. But then they get killed off real early on and it's super sad. Give me a prequel with O&K and I'd be a happy camper.
4. Give Gideon a backstory/explain his various issues. 
Gideon is the queen's officer or something. I have no idea. He's always there doing stuff and he seems important but it's not clear what his issues are. He's got huge attitude. He's an asshole to everyone. No one likes him. He hates our protagonist. He's moody and emo and he's just meh. I feel like they could have done a lot more with him. Like O&K, I think more time spent getting to know who these gargoyles are would have made the movie stronger. I mean look at those puppy dog eyes. He's adorable.

5. Sexy Frankenstein's Monster
 Just sigh. So dumb. I mean Eckhart looks smoking hot but really?
6. Bill Nighy's character makes no sense
He's the demon prince (why not king? why not Satan?) and he wants everything and nothing all at once. He wants the Creature and the journal. But he gets the journal and gives it away to the doctor instead of, I don't know, making copies or scanning it or whatever. They give it to Terra Wade and then the Creature takes it and then the rest of the movie is spent looking for it. So he spends most of the movie looking for things he doesn't need and making amazing faces of vague disgust. He's a meh villain. He doesn't do much. Hell the gargoyle queen is just a big jerk as he is and she's supposed to be the good guy.

7. The fact that the Creature and Terra Wade survive at the end
I mean, c'mon. Adam Frankenstein Monster gets all hurt when he fall through like one floor:
but then he and Dr. Wade survive this crazy ass implosion:
Yeah I know that they shouldn't be killed because they're the main characters but...I mean...for real?

8. Definitely need a Batman/Frankenstein crossover










Friday, February 6, 2015

I, Talia Challenge, first 18 days


Listen to my daily updates

I've watched this movie 18 times.
18.
I don't think I've watched a movie more than twice in my whole life.
I definitely think that I've got a bit of a Stockholm Syndrome happening here. It's not a good movie. Not in the least. I mean there's a zombie rat in the first twenty minutes. But I've developed a certain attachment to this movie. It is like the kid being bullied on the playground. It needs love too.

I mean there's Bill Nighy. He's adorable. He's adorable in everything. I just saw "About Time" and he was the sweetest goddamn person that I've ever seen. I want to give him a big hug and let him make everyone a demon in this movie. He plays the Demon Prince (it sounds dumb every time. Sorry. Prince? Why not king, people?) but just stands around and makes "I'm too old and demony for this shit" faces the entire time. In all reality, I'm pretty much rooting for demon Naberius the entire time because he's actually fairly supportive of poor Frankenstein. He wants him to have Frankenstein/demon friends while the stupid gargoyles (also always dumb to say) just want to chain up Aaron Eckhart to walls on a near constant basis.





The Creature (or Adam or Frankenstein or Frankenstein's monster or whatever of the 80 names they call him) is actually a lot more sympathetic than the movie makes him out to be. After the incoherent plot is sorted out (took me a few viewings but I've got it!) I can focus on how super sad AdamStein is. He just wants a friend and he doesn't get one. The Doctor tried to kill him. The gargoyles try to kill him. The demons try to possess him. 



he really isn't so bad. He's a little moody but he seems like a nice enough creature monster thing. He's freaking beautiful, ripped to all get out, and he's got an awesome hoodie and fingerless gloves. Plus he's quippy and charming as far as hell lab monsters go. He just wants a buddy. Is that so wrong?

It's not a great movie but it's not AdamStein's fault or Demon Prince Bill's fault either. They act their little hearts out. The movie is just simultaneously boring and complicated. The plot is really rather cobbled together so scenes don't make a lot of sense within themselves and really don't flow so well. It is missing a lot of backstory and the exposition is fantasy gibberish half the time. 

But I'm starting to find it comforting. Hearing the balding demon man talk about wounding the creature or the hilarious demon chants that Prince Bill screams just warm my heart. It provides a weird level of consistency to my days. Oh Frankenstein. You can protect my city anytime.



Thursday, January 29, 2015

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Monday, January 26, 2015

Sunday, January 25, 2015